Yogi Tea's Words of Wisdumb-- by Nate Winter

My coworker Emily has a cup-a-day Yogi Tea habit. And since her desk is next to mine, I was quickly introduced to the product, even though I'm not a tea drinker. Yogi Tea's brand is all about health, Zen, yoga, inner peace, etc. Part of that is a message of Yogi Inspiration on each tea bag. It's a few words expressing "life's simple truths, created to awaken a sense of goodness within you."

Healthy, organic tea with a thoughtful, optimistic message. It's a fun little point of differentiation in a crowded category. So I admitted I was impressed.

But when I said, "Okay, read me one" things took a turn for the worse. As it turns out, these Yogi Inspiration phrases are terrible. They're trite, awkwardly written and, in some cases, downright incomprehensible.

Here's a sampling of Yogi Inspirations I find especially moronic:

• Appreciate yourself and honor your soul.
• The universe is the stage on which you dance, guided by your heart.
• The soul is projection. Represent it.
• Unite with your own higher self and create a friendship.
• Trust is the infinity of your soul.

Call me crazy, but that's a bunch of nonsensical gibberish. Not a single one of those means anything, especially if you're looking for something to incorporate into your own life. "Oh right, my soul is projection. Today I'll remember to represent it. Problem solved."

It makes me wonder if they created an algorithm that randomly selects Zen-friendly words like soul, self, truth, universe, heart, infinity and just strings them together in a phrase that sounds vaguely meaningful.

Many of the phrases are better than the ones above, but not by much. The absolute pinnacle of coherent advice you can actually do something with is "A relaxed mind is a creative mind." And it's only useful because it applies directly to me as a creative person. Everything else is fit for a Successories poster in a guidance counselor's office.

Lucky for you, the Yogi Tea website that has collected all the Yogi Inspirations into one place. Check out the nerve center of thinly veiled idiocy here.

Again, the idea behind this is great. But execution fails miserably. If they'd simply hired a decent writer (like Emily or me) to craft some thoughtful, meaningful phrases, I think Yogi Inspirations could really impact people. Instead, it comes across as a cheesy gimmick trying too hard to sell a feeling with their tea-- which is probably what it was in the first place.

-- Nate Winter