Yogi Tea's Words of Wisdumb-- by Nate Winter

My coworker Emily has a cup-a-day Yogi Tea habit. And since her desk is next to mine, I was quickly introduced to the product, even though I'm not a tea drinker. Yogi Tea's brand is all about health, Zen, yoga, inner peace, etc. Part of that is a message of Yogi Inspiration on each tea bag. It's a few words expressing "life's simple truths, created to awaken a sense of goodness within you."

Healthy, organic tea with a thoughtful, optimistic message. It's a fun little point of differentiation in a crowded category. So I admitted I was impressed.

But when I said, "Okay, read me one" things took a turn for the worse. As it turns out, these Yogi Inspiration phrases are terrible. They're trite, awkwardly written and, in some cases, downright incomprehensible.

Here's a sampling of Yogi Inspirations I find especially moronic:

• Appreciate yourself and honor your soul.
• The universe is the stage on which you dance, guided by your heart.
• The soul is projection. Represent it.
• Unite with your own higher self and create a friendship.
• Trust is the infinity of your soul.

Call me crazy, but that's a bunch of nonsensical gibberish. Not a single one of those means anything, especially if you're looking for something to incorporate into your own life. "Oh right, my soul is projection. Today I'll remember to represent it. Problem solved."

It makes me wonder if they created an algorithm that randomly selects Zen-friendly words like soul, self, truth, universe, heart, infinity and just strings them together in a phrase that sounds vaguely meaningful.

Many of the phrases are better than the ones above, but not by much. The absolute pinnacle of coherent advice you can actually do something with is "A relaxed mind is a creative mind." And it's only useful because it applies directly to me as a creative person. Everything else is fit for a Successories poster in a guidance counselor's office.

Lucky for you, the Yogi Tea website that has collected all the Yogi Inspirations into one place. Check out the nerve center of thinly veiled idiocy here.

Again, the idea behind this is great. But execution fails miserably. If they'd simply hired a decent writer (like Emily or me) to craft some thoughtful, meaningful phrases, I think Yogi Inspirations could really impact people. Instead, it comes across as a cheesy gimmick trying too hard to sell a feeling with their tea-- which is probably what it was in the first place.

-- Nate Winter

What Were They Thinking?: PomegranatePhone.com-- by Nate Winter

This article is a review of the marketing campaign at http://pomegranatephone.com. Go through the site until the "creative idea" is revealed to you. Afterward, I hope you'll return to read my thoughts.

So it all wraps up with the line, "Someday you'll be able to get everything you want in a device. Today you can get everything you want in one place-- Nova Scotia."

My initial reactions? Disgust. Insult. Ravenous desire to reclaim 3 minutes of my life.

It doesn't take a National Geographic writer, a mobile technology guru or a half-conscious adman to realize that this concept is hopelessly disconnected. Smart phones and travel to Nova Scotia have nothing to do with one another, and this campaign makes no attempt to connect them. Ultimately, the all-powerful technology device as a vehicle for allegory is purely arbitrary. The whole thing hangs on a verbose punchline with uninspired wordplay.

Stacey Jones-Oxner, a representative of the campaign, said, "Since there is so much buzz out there around the newest and latest smartphones, we thought this was a good device to use. This is especially true when you consider that the people who are interested in the latest technology are often people involved in business and tend to be key influencers." Evidently the campaign targets "those with clout in cities such as Boston, Toronto, Ottawa and Calgary. " (cited from L.A. Times)

So apparently techies are the campaign's target audience. That's a bit of a head-scratcher to me, but fine. So be it. That notwithstanding, the Nova Scotia area of the site makes no attempt to relate back to technology, tech savviness or just an opportunity to unplug. Combine that with the glaring absence of a call to action, and you've got some pretty pitiful marketing on your hands.

Then there's this business of "Everything you want in one place." Not exactly a compelling unique selling proposition. I'm sure dozens of travel destinations have made this claim, and doubtless dozens more could, too. This line has been used outside of the travel category, too. I specifically recall Corbis, a stock photo site, using that line. It's completely unoriginal and uninspiring.

Originally, I thought this punchline was the work of a laid-off Family Guy writer, someone whose livelihood depends on the humor in random things being put together. But I was wrong. Apparently the whole campaign was created in-house by the Nova Scotia tourism board. No agency involved? You don't say.

And it takes entirely too long to get to the point. By the time the jig was up, I was ready to leave the site. From what I can tell, the actual Nova Scotia content on the website is very nice. It appears to have the same high production value, and it's actually applied to the product!

Probably worst of all, is the whole concept is based on a joke we've seen and heard ad nauseum-- hyperbole that takes the iPhone's legitimately impressive list of features to a ridiculous conclusion. Here's how Saturday Night Live poked fun at the iPhone. This skit aired in January of 2007. Scores of imitations and responses popped up. Then in October 2008, over a year and a half later, Nova Scotia's Pomegranate Phone launched. And they still felt compelled to make the exact same joke that SNL did about a smart phone that makes coffee. It's oblivious and ignorant at best; idiotic at worst.

CONCLUSION
This campaign website boasts beautifully high production value and a piss-poor concept. Flashy video effects don't make good advertising-- big ideas do. And this campaign didn't have a big idea.

It exemplifies the mindlessness, superficiality and ennui that plagues today's advertising. It's campaigns like this that inspire legions of untalented and misguided creatives to join our industry with the hopes of developing work just like this.

If there's a silver lining here, it's my sincere hope that this pitiful bait-and-switch campaign will also be revealed as a hoax, giving way to a legitimate creative idea. In which case, I'm happy to be the angry blogger who took the bait.

-- Nate Winter