Windows Isn't Vulgar, I Swear-- by Nate Winter

As I mentioned in my last post, Microsoft has hired ad agency golden boys Crispin, Porter & Bogusky to fix the Windows PR problem and make the ubiquitous OS brand lovable. The most recent result is the "Windows 7 Was My Idea" campaign, in which everyday PC users recommend new features for Windows 7. Overall I think it's a good campaign. I don't like the "Seal of Approval" series, but other than that I think the messaging and executions are solid.

But as Windows matures into a fully dimensional brand with a personality, I've noticed some growing pains. The point that really sticks in my craw is the cringe-worthy faux swearing in the recent Windows 7 ads.

I mean, look at this general TV spot for Windows 7. When the cute Indian girl wearing the Microsoft lanyard says "Abso-frickin-lutely!" it makes my face squinch up like a rotten pumpkin. Overall, I'm pretty indifferent to Microsoft, but in that moment I'm so embarrassed for them that I feel uncomfortable in my comfy chair in the comfort of my own home. Hell, it makes me uncomfortable in my own skin.

Obviously the campaign intends to make the Windows brand more personable, but this is not the answer. It's so contrived, so awkward and such a pathetic, thinly-veiled attempt at eliciting-- I don't know what they were going for, exactly-- respect? Interest? Laughter? Charm?

Only slightly less painful is the "Seal of Approval" ad where Diana flies to Tokyo. (To view this spot, click here. Within the top viewing window, click the video entitled "Diana.") In the version I've seen on TV a few times, Diana is so wowed by Windows 7 she reacts with an indecipherable profanity that's bleeped out. Groan. Roll eyes. Sigh.

A quick YouTube search for this ad yielded a clean version with no implied profanity, which is far more pleasant. So it's not like swearing was the honest reaction of a real person and there was only one take of it. No, it's clear that there were at least two reactions, both caught on film. And still the U.S. audience is subjected to the painfully awkward bleepy version.

This is but one part of Microsoft's struggle to integrate vulgarity into its brand personality. The software giant faced a more public self-depantsing back in the fall. On October 13th, Microsoft announced its sponsorship of "Family Guy Presents: Seth & Alex's Almost Live Comedy Show"-- a Fox special based on its popular animated sitcom Family Guy. The sponsorship also included a branded entertainment agreement wherein information about Windows 7 would be woven into the plot and dialogue of the show. This step into a world of crude cartoon comedy was a bold move toward a newer, cooler Microsoft, and the news media took note.

Then on October 26th (not even two weeks later), Microsoft rescinded its sponsorship after execs attended a taping of the show and realized that Family Guy's "content was not a fit with the Windows brand." The show addressed topics including the Holocaust, incest, feminine hygiene and deaf people-- the exact type of edgy humor that has characterized Family Guy for a decade. And yet a shocked Microsoft pulled out of the deal in a panic.

Meanwhile all the media attention Microsoft garnered when it inked the deal came back as a resounding "I told you so." A failed attempt at popularity and a bonehead PR move-- that's the Microsoft we know and feel indifferent about.

Microsoft is trying to grow its Windows brand into something that resonates emotionally with people in a positive way. It's a lofty goal, and certainly the correct one. However, witnessing the excruciatingly accident-prone puberty of this stuffy, geeky brand is too painful to tolerate.

Vulgarity just isn't part of the Microsoft or Windows brands. So why force it? There are plenty of other likable personality traits Microsoft could adopt, such as clean humor (make us laugh the old-fashioned way), charity (donate Windows PCs to schools, non-for-profits, etc.), nerdliness (be nerdy in a cute way). There are plenty more fun traits that could fit the Windows brand, but vulgarity simply isn't one of them.

So listen, Microsoft and CP&B, you're better than this. I know you can turn Windows into a brand with personality, but you're off to a rough start. So let's role play for a moment. You're Van Wilder and I'm Professor McDoogle, your stuffy, white-haired economics teacher.

Me: This is the "dare to be great" moment you're always talking about. You're on the verge of expulsion. So c'mon, kid. Let's see what you're made of.

-- Nate Winter

A Flawed Series of Windows 7 Commercials. Whose Idea Was That?

I'm seeing a new wave of TV spots from Microsoft where everyday Windows users fly across the world to test out the Windows 7 features they asked for. It's part of the "Windows 7 Was My Idea" campaign in a series identified as "Seal of Approval" on the Windows 7 YouTube channel (which houses all the videos described in this article. Click the "Seal of Approval" tab in the top window of the YouTube page.)

The Seal of Approval spots are about making someone fly halfway across the world for an extremely brief demonstration of the Windows 7 features he or she suggested. So here are my questions: Who's idea was that?! And, has that person been fired?

I like "Windows 7 Was My Idea." It has emotional appeal and an inclusive message. It suggests a culture and a camaraderie among Windows users. Microsoft is bringing the computer back to the people (like HP's "The computer is personal again") and democratizing the development of new features by taking suggestions from the peanut gallery. It's a solid idea upon which to build a campaign.

And with the "Seal of Approval" series, I think having people approve the features they suggested is a great extension of the idea. But flying them across the globe to do so just doesn't make sense to me.

And it's not like there's a universal destination (such as Microsoft's headquarters in Redmond, Washington). Diana flies from New York to Tokyo, Tyrone from London to Texas, Tom from Berlin to California, and Sophie from France to Tokyo. In seeing the spots on TV, I couldn't for the life of me figure out why our Windows users were shuttled off to these various locations.

Upon further review I inferred that these locations represent the headquarters of the equipment manufacturer shown in each spot. Diana and Sophie fly to Tokyo to test Toshiba and Sony computers, respectively. Tyrone goes to Austin to test a Dell desktop, and Tom visits California to test an HP. But I only figured this out because I was curious enough about the seeming randomness of these destinations to hunt down the videos and watch them repeatedly.

Despite Microsoft's and Crispin, Porter & Bogusky's best efforts, these spots still offer me a phantom reminder of the PC's most notorious perceived flaw-- when you get it home and start it up, it just doesn't work that well. OF COURSE Windows 7 works flawlessly in the R&D lab at the headquarters of the company that built the computers! The test that matters is how it works in the imperfect scenarios of the real world.

It's this kind of thinking that reminds me of the failed Vista operating system. It presumably worked well in testing, but upon release to the public was found to be incredibly buggy and unsatisfying. This issue was then amplified by Apple in a number of its Mac vs. PC ads, and helped seed an opinion that PCs are unreliable and annoying to use. At this point Microsoft hired Crispin, Porter & Bogusky (arguably the hottest creative agency in the world) to stop the bleeding and put a positive spin on Windows computing.

And after all that, these Microsoft ads still don't show PCs succeeding in the real world. They simply fail to contest Apple's assertions that PCs are problematic in everyday situations. In fact, the message they send is very much the opposite. These ads reinforce the PC's negative reputation by showing the extraordinary lengths a user must go to for a great PC experience. Tokyo, anyone?

Maybe refuting negative opinions toward the PC wasn't the goal of this ad. To that, I argue that fixing the PC's PR problem should've been the goal, or at least a goal (for the reasons stated above). And it's a goal that could've easily been achieved with a simple change: bringing the computers to the people.

Don't make loyal PC users fly around the world to use Windows 7 in your laboratory. Bring the computers to them and let's see Windows 7 succeed in the imperfect everyday environments of the average user. Then you show the PC as a strong option in the area where many consider it weak. It may not solve the PC's PR problem, but it rebuts the negative opinion strongly and directly.

Think about Tom, the Berliner who requested easier wifi connections, flying to California to test an HP laptop. Wouldn't Tom's experience (and by extension the viewer's) have been more meaningful if he'd actually tested wifi connectivity around the places he frequents in Berlin?

And in my opinion, bringing the computers to the user is just more accommodating than asking our users to take a couple days out of their schedule to fly around the world to test the manufacturer's computer. Honestly, it's this situation that initially rubbed me the wrong way and caused me to think more closely about why these ads don't work. As I said before, showing PC users traveling halfway across the globe in search of a satisfying PC experience sends a fundamentally flawed message.

A small factor in all this is whether our Windows 7 users are real people or paid actors. They appear to be regular Joes and Janes, but there's room for doubt. Microsoft's "Laptop Hunters" ad series (which you can also view on the Windows YouTube channel) seemed to show us everyday people looking for great deals on a laptop, until users pointed out some editing glitches and discovered that one of the laptop hunters was a member of the Screen Actors Guild. Hmmm, suspicious. (Read the AdAge article on this here.)

Whether the Seal of Approval spots are real or not, you'd need a rather heroic suspension of disbelief to play along with these commercials. No one wants to fly from London to Austin just to look at a Windows 7 laptop for a couple minutes (or in Diana's case, four seconds). And if there is more to these stories-- like VIP treatment, time to enjoy the destination city-- then tell us about it. Especially if it makes the primary narrative more credible.

Ultimately, a more believable narrative and a more poignant marketing message would've come from bringing the computer to the people. "Windows 7 Was My Idea" is a strong foothold for effective marketing, but execution in the "Seal of Approval" series was a misstep. And with the future of PCs riding on the new Windows OS, someone must take credit and responsibility for every Windows 7 idea, especially the bad ones.

-- Nate Winter